california dreamin'

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previously summmerlovin

Alright, before I even start, DONT JUDGE ME. I’m letting this story off of my chest because I honestly don’t know what to do with him. This is a personal story and I’d really appreciate it if I wasn’t judged but somewhat accepted. Oh and one more thing, PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME IN REAL LIFE, don’t mention this outside of tumblr. This is personal.
ok so hmm, it started on september 6, 2009. I was in canada and it was like super early in the morning, since I couldn’t sleep, I decided to go on my ipod. I accidentally found a chat on it a few weeks back and I tended to go t it whenever I was bored. Anyways it was like 1 am in the morning and I was talking to one of my friends on it. While talking on it, some random guy started to talk to me. I was like oh well he’s not that cute, ill just talk to him to be nice. Within a few minutes I found out his name was grayson and I was like omg, your name! I love it! (It wasn’t a name I’d really heard of) and I guess we talked a little bit more… Well more like for another 4 hours. Mind that that morning I had to wake up at 6 am to leave canada to come back to new york. Yeah fail. Since I didn’t have wifi in my house here I was like hmm, do you wanna txt or something? He said sure. (Yes I know, catherine why the fuck did you give your number to a guy that you just talked with for like 4 hours, wtf. Shut up I was a stupid 16 year old lol, leave me alone) anyways I gave him my number and we txted the next day on my carride back down to long island. Yeah let’s just say that wasn’t the greatest conversation I’ve ever had. He kept hinting that I was the perfect girl, that I was so pretty, etc. I mean yeah its sweet, but like at the same time, its sorta creepy. Well yeah he kept txting me first trying to make small talk and cute conversations but I pushed him away. I just acted uninterested, aka I was an ignorant bitch haha. Soon enough by like 4 I pulled the whole yeah my phone is dying sorry ttyl. Yeah he fell for it and I just didn’t txt him for a few days.

ok so now a week went by and he txts me first again, (oh joy) he says hey, I missed you the past few weeks, howve you been? Again small talk, and again I brush him off like a complete bitch. Alright so he tries the small talk thing for the rest of september. In october things changed. He started acting really sweet, like good morning calls and txt mssgs, aka things I have never received from a guy before so I felt super special, and telling me that I was beautiful and like showering me with compliments. To be honest, I really started liking it. I really liked the attention because I had never gotten it from any guy before. He made me feel so beautiful and I felt like I could make a persons life. Soon enough, good morning txt mssgs were a daily routine, every morning at 7:25 am on the dot, hed txt me “good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?” I felt soo loved at this point that I stopped brushing him off and actually started having conversations with him. Soon enough I realized I was falling head over heels for this kid. Let’s recap, his name is grayson moore, he lives in texas, he’s 16, 6’3 dark hair and hazel eyes, plays football, baseball and runs track. Oh and he had the most amazing personality because he was so funny and he knew how to make me laugh. Also he liked being kinky and sexual but in a cute joking way so he really started to get me to fall in love with him. He started to become PERFECT.

october 19, 2009 came along and we were talking and that night he just brought up what were we and I was like idk what are we? He responded by saying well I want you to be my girlfriend. I don’t care about distance, I really like you. He continued by saying that in the past month and a half he was falling head over heels for me. Of course like a love struck, head over heels, hormonal teenage girl, I said yes. Little did I know that he actually asked out a girl in texas, two days later. Anyways I was happy. Yes he was far away but he made me love waking up in the morning because I always knew omg I get to talk to him again. Anyways. A week later before I went out on a date with this guy and I was txting grayson. He said to me catherine, I have to tell you something. I got a little worried but I said ok, continue on. He said I’m sorry. Vatherine but I have a girlfriend. For some reason I was furious. I ignored him the rest of the night. He txted me the entire night apologizing but I couldn’t handle being lied to, especially about this. Finally by the end of the night, around midnight he txted me for the last time and said catherine, may we please talk? I finally gave in. We talked on the phone fighting about why he would ever lie to me? Anyways, long story short, he said catherine, I promise ill never lie to you again and if I do ill let you go because you don’t deserve me. I forgave him and we talked till 4 am.

ok let’s just get this out of the way, we talked dirty over txt mssgs sometimes. (CMON YOU KNOW SOME OF YOU DO IT) anyways yeah, well we talked every night and every morning for the rest of the month. Now, on halloween, since we were both out way past our usual talking time we just decided not to talk to each other. Bad decision on my part. The next day I was going out eat to the Hamptons with my parents and he txted me early that morning we talked the whole day. But, around 5 in the afternoon, he out of nowhere stopped txting me. I didn’t really think much of it, I just figured he had to go out because it was a friday afternoon. WRONG. His parents went through his txt mssgs and saw us talking dirty a bit a few hours earlier. He sent me an inbox on facebook saying he was sorry for all the trouble and that we were forbidden by his parents to ever talk again. I started tearing in the backseat of my car. My parents kept asking what’s wrong what’s wrong but I just said I got into a little fight with someone. Let’s just say I cried for the entire rest of the week and all of the week after. Ok so I txted him billions of times within those 2 weeks because I couldn’t stand to lose him. He never answered. I later found out that his parents blocked my cell phone number and blocked me off of facebook. lovely.

kay hmm long story short, he called back thanksgiving weekend, aka last week of november. We talked for 5 hours, 4 of which I was hysterically crying. My favorite part of the entire conversation. “Catherine, I love you, ill always be there for you, remember that ok? I really truly love you” I died:) yeah we had an uneventful month of december. We called every weekend since we couldn’t really talk during weekdays. Alright so hmm, he got caught AGAIN by his parents on december 30. I cried for a few hours. Ok now the whole month of january I just didn’t bother reaching him, I knew that he would call me back. So I lived life normally, I missed him alot but I knew I’d talk to him again. Ok so january 30, I was at the mall with my friend and I got a private call. I first thought it was like a prank call from jerks from another town so I let my friend answer the phone. It was a guy that called ans asked if I could talk. When I took the phone he asked if it was catherine and said that it was grayson. I was literally so ecstatic that he called again. I pretty much almost cried at the mall. He called later on that night and we talked for 5 hours. Now, we continued talking every weekend like we used to. We got into like 2 fights where we didn’t talk for like a week or two but we always ended up making up and getting back together. Then, one weekend, april 17, 2010, my mom found out that I was talking and txting an out of state number(she also saw dirty talking, no bueno). Mind that my parents are super strict asian parents. Let’s just say they didn’t really approve of any of this at all. She was FURIOUS. She screamed, yelled and hit me. She also forced me to give me the name and number so that she could call him personally to tell him to never talk to me again. She threatened me saying that she would kick me out of the house if I didn’t. I really didn’t want him to get in trouble for a third time so I was stubborn about giving my parents his number. After another round of yelling, shouting and hitting, I finally gave in. I gave her his number and she left a voicemail telling him to call back. Later on that night he called and apologized to my mom. She screamed at him telling him how irresponsible and perverted he was for txting dirty things. After the verbal abuse from my mother, she said here, ill give you the decency to talk to my daughter for 2 minutes, but this is the last you’ll ever talk to her. At this point, I’m hysterically bawling out crying. I take the phone and the first thing he says is “I’m sorry and I love you ok? Always remember that. Don’t worry catherine we’ll talk again. I promise, no matter what our parents say.”

yeah, I practically cried every single night for the next month and a half. It wasn’t pretty. I tried everything to let go of him but nothing worked. Finally the first week of june, I decided to email him. I gave in because I couldn’t take not talking to him. He responded back a week later saying how much he missed me and that he loved me. Since both of our parents were still monitoring our phone calls, we couldn’t call each other. Summer came along. I had to flings but nothing compared to grayson, it just wasn’t the same. Sadly, during a good portion of the summer, he was at football camp so I was lonely and dad for a few weeks. Anyways when he came back, he told me he had good news. He said he met a bunch of guys from ny, and that they had the same area code as me. I was ecstatic because that meant that we’d be able to talk again. Also, since him and his girlfriend broke up back in june of 2010, I knew I was his only girl, I was his #1 girl. Now, here we are, 7 months later, still talking to each other almost every weekend.

yes, this is a long distance relationship, but its different. We’re super open. We encourage each other to date other people because we don’t wanna hold each other back just in case we never actually meet each other. You may not think its a relationship, but to us its perfect. I love him with everything I have and I don’t care what you think of this. So there tumblr, welcome to my pathetic love life.

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